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LAWS OF LIFE AND NATURE
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[ Also see Proverbs ]

Airplane Law, The: When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time.
      - Law of Life and Nature

Albrecht's Law: Social innovations tend to the level of minimum tolerable well being.
      - Law of Life and Nature

Algren's Precepts: Never eat at a place called Mom's. Never play cards with a man named Doc. And never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.
      - Law of Life and Nature

All real programs contain errors until proved otherwise which is impossible.
      - Law of Life and Nature

Allen's Law of Civilization: It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be coming up it.
      - Law of Life and Nature

Allen's Law: Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.
      - Law of Life and Nature

Alley's Axiom: Justice always prevails . . . three times out of seven.
      - Law of Life and Nature

Alligator Allegory: The objective of all dedicated product support employees should be to thoroughly analyze all situations, anticipate all problems prior to their occurrence, have answers for these problems, and move swiftly to solve these problems when called upon. However, when you are up to your ass in alligators, it is difficult to remind yourself that your initial objective was to drain the swamp.
      - Law of Life and Nature

Allison's Precept: The best simple-minded test of experience in a particular area is the ability to win money in a series of bets on future occurrences in that area.
      - Law of Life and Nature

Anderson's Law: I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which, when you looked at it in the right way, did not become still more complicated.
      - Law of Life and Nature

Andrews' Canoeing Postulate: No matter which direction you start it's always against the wind coming back.
      - Law of Life and Nature

Annoyance, Law of: When working on a project, if you put away a tool that you're certain you're finished with, you will need it instantly.
      - Law of Life and Nature

Anthony's Law of Force: Don't force it; get a larger hammer.
      - Law of Life and Nature

Anthony's Law of the Workshop, Corollary to: On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first strike your toes.
      - Law of Life and Nature

Anthony's Law of the Workshop: Any tool when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner of the workshop.
      - Law of Life and Nature

Any small object that is accidentally dropped will hide under a larger object.
      - Law of Life and Nature

Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable.
      - Law of Life and Nature

Any time things appear to be going better, you have overlooked something.
      - Law of Life and Nature

Anything labeled "NEW" and/or "IMPROVED" isn't. The label means the price went up. The label "ALL NEW", "COMPLETELY NEW", or "GREAT NEW" means the price went way up.
      - Law of Life and Nature

Applied Confusion, Fourth Law of, First Corollary: In any group of pieces with the same erection mark on it, one should not have that mark on it.
      - Law of Life and Nature

Applied Confusion, Fourth Law of, Second Corollary: It will not be discovered until you try to put it where the mark says it's supposed to go.
      - Law of Life and Nature

Applied Confusion, Fourth Law of, Third Corollary: Never argue with the fabricating plant about an error. The inspection prints are all checked off, even to the holes that aren't there.
      - Law of Life and Nature

Applied Confusion, Fourth Law of: In any structure, pick out the one piece that should not be mismarked and expect the plant to cross you up.
      - Law of Life and Nature

Applied Confusion, Law of, Corollary: Not only did the plant forget to ship it, 50% of the time they haven't even made it.
      - Law of Life and Nature

Applied Confusion, Law of: The one piece that the plant forgot to ship is the one that supports 75% of the balance of the shipment.
      - Law of Life and Nature


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