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Irish orator, dramatist and politician
(1751 - 1816)
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I'm called away by particular business. But I leave my character behind me.
      - School for Scandal (act II, sc. 2)

Here's to the maiden of bashful fifteen;
  Here's to the widow of fifty;
    Here's to the flaunting, extravagant quean;
      And here's to the housewife that's thrifty.
        (Chorus:) Let the toast pass,--
          Drink to the lass,
            I'll warrant she'll prove an excuse for the glass.
      - School for Scandal (act III, sc. 3, song)

An unforgiving eye, and a damned disinheriting countenance.
      - School for Scandal (act IV, sc. 1) [Face]

I believe there is no sentiment he has such faith in as that charity begins at home"
  And his, I presume., is of that domestic sort which never stirs abroad at all.
      - School for Scandal (act V, sc. 1)

Steal!--to be sure they may; and egad, serve your best thoughts as gypsies do stolen children, disfigure them to make 'em pass for their own.
      - The Critic (act I, sc. 1) [Plagiarism]

The newspapers! Sir, they are the most villanous--licentious--abominable--infernal--not that I ever read them--no--I make it a rule never to look into a newspaper.
      - The Critic (act I, sc. 1) [Journalism]

Egad, I think the interpreter is the hardest to be understood of the two!
      - The Critic (act I, sc. 2) [Linguists]

Sheer necessity--the proper parent of an art so nearly allied to invention.
      - The Critic (act I, sc. 2) [Necessity]

Inconsolable to the minuet in Ariadne!
      - The Critic (act II, sc, 2) [Dancing]

Certainly nothing is unnatural that is not physically impossible.
      - The Critic (act II, sc. 1)
        [Impossibility : Nature]

An oyster may be crossed in love! Who says
  A whale's a bird?--Ha! did you call my love?--
    He's here! He's there! he's everywhere!
      An me! he's nowhere!
      - The Critic--A Tragedy Rehearsed
         (act III, sc. 1) [Oysters]

Had I a heart for falsehood framed.
  I ne'er could injure you.
      - The Duenna (act I, sc. 5) [Lying]

Soft pity never leaves the gentle breast
  Where love has been received a welcome guest.
      - The Duenna (act II) [Pity]

This bottle's the sun of our table,
  His beams are rosy wine;
    We planets that are not able
      Without his held to shine.
      - The Duenna (act III, sc. 5) [Drinking]

A circulating library in a town is as an evergreen tree of diabolical knowledge.
      - The Rivals (act I, sc. 2) [Libraries]

I would by no means wish a daughter of mine to be a progeny of learning.
      - The Rivals (act I, sc. 2) [Learning]

That's too civil by half.
      - The Rivals (act III, sc. 4) [Courtesy]

Our ancestors are very good kind of folks; but they are the last people I should choose to have a visiting acquaintance with.
      - The Rivals (act IV, sc. 1) [Ancestry]

You are not like Cerberus, three gentlemen at once, are you?
      - The Rivals (act IV, sc. 2) [Gentlemen]

The quarrel is a very pretty quarrel as it stands; we should only spoil it by trying to explain it.
      - The Rivals (act IV, sc. 3) [Quarreling]

I own the soft impeachment.
      - The Rivals (act V, sc. 3) [Confession]

My valor is certainly going!--it is sneaking off!--I feel it oozing out, as it were, at the palms of my hands.
      - The Rivals (act V, sc. 3) [Valor]

One moral's plain, . . . without more fuss;
  Man's social happiness all rests on us:
    Through all the drama--whether damn'd or not--
      Love gilds the scene, and women guide the plot.
      - The Rivals--Epilogue [Women]

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