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AMBROSE BIERCE
American journalist and writer
(1842 - 1914)

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
      - [Madness]

Christians and camels receive their burdens kneeling.
      - [Christians]

International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoldering one.
      - [Diplomacy]

Patriotism is as fierce as a fever, pitiless as the grave, blind as a stone, and irrational as a headless hen.
      - [Patriotism]

Religions are conclusions for which the facts of nature supply no major premises.
      - [Religion]

The covers of this book are too far apart.
      - [Books]

The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
      - [Gambling]

The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
      - [Pretension]

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
      - [Dogs]

The wife, or bitter half.
      - [Wives]

There's nothing new under the sun, but there are lots of old things we don't know.
      - [Novelty]

While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands you are safe, for you can watch both of his.
      - [Friends]

Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact.
      - [Tact]

EGOTIST, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
      - The Devil's Dictionary [Egotism]

LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder. This disease, like caries and many other ailments, is prevalent only among civilized races living under artificial conditions; barbarous nations breathing pure air and eating simple food enjoy immunity from its ravages. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than to the patient.
      - The Devil's Dictionary [Love]

PRAY, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
      - The Devil's DIctionary [Atheism : Prayer]


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