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As for me, give me turtle or give me death. What is life without turtle? nothing. What is turtle without life? nothinger still. - [Gluttony] Imagine for a moment Napoleon I, to have borne the name of Jenkins, or Washington to have sustained the appellation of John Smith! - [Names] My wife is one of the best wimin on this Continent, altho' she isn't always gentle as a lamb with mint sauce. - A War Meeting [Women] The happy married man dies in good stile at home, surrounded by his weeping wife and children. The old bachelor don't die at all--he sort of rots away, like a pollywog's tail. - Draft in Baldinsville [Matrimony] I am not a politician, and my other habits air good. - Fourth of July Oration [Politics] I can't sing. As a singist I am not a success. I am saddest when I sing. So are those who hear me. They are sadder even than I am. - Lecture [Music] They drink with impunity, or anybody who invites them. - Moses the Sassy--Programme [Drinking] Why don't you show us a statesman who can rise up to the emergency, and cave in the emergency's head. - Things in New York [Statesmanship]
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