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FRAN LEBOWITZ
American humorist and journalist
(1950 - )

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
      - [Children]

Bread that must be sliced with an axe is bread that is too nourishing.
      - [Food]

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
      - [Children]

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
      - [Food]

I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
      - [Gambling]

If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.
      - [Fantasy]

Inhabitants of underdeveloped nations and victims of natural disasters are the only people who have ever been happy to see soy beans.
      - [Food]

No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
      - [Conversation]

Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
      - [Vegetables]

Women who insist upon having the same options as men would do well to consider the option of being the strong, silent type.
      - [Equality]


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