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WOODY ALLEN
American comedian, actor and film director
(1935 - )

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.
      - [Poverty]

Eighty percent of success is showing up.
      - [Success]

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
      - [Nothingness]

Eternity is really long, especially near the end.
      - [Eternity]

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
      - [Education]

I am at two with nature.
      - [Nature]

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
      - [Immortality]

I feel that life is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
      - [Misery]

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
      - [Wives]

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
      - [Insult]

I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me.
      - [Greatness]

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.
      - [Failure]

It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
      - [Death]

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
      - [Money]

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
      - [God]

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
      - [Death]

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one considers that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies.
      - [Crime]

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
      - [Sex]

Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you can get between the right man and the right woman.
      - [Sex]

Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
      - [Love]

You mellow too much you ripen and rot.
      - [Maturity]


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