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GOLF
[ Also see Sport ]

Golf is an awkward set of bodily contortions designed to produce a graceful result.
      - Tommy Armour

We want a boy extremely for this function.
      - Francis Beaumont and John Fletcher

One only thought can enter every head;
  The thought of golf, to wit--and that engages
    Men of all sizes, tempers, ranks and ages.
      - G.F. Carnegie

Time-honored golf! I heard it whispered once
  That he who could not play was held a dunce
    On old Olympus, when it teemed with gods.
      - G.F. Carnegie

When driving ceases, may we still be able
  To play the shorts, putt and be comfortable.
      - G.F. Carnegie

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you.
      - Phyllis Diller

And we've leeved it every hour,
  But say not at all we will loft our ball
    And hauff the hole in fower.
      Then dormy hame we can sing through the round,
        And die like golfers keen,
          We've played fu' weel the short game and long,
            The game on the golfing-green.
      - Thomas Dykes

If you watch a game, it's fun. IF you play it, it's recreation. if you work at it, it's golf.
      - Bob Hope (Leslie Townes Hope)

Golf is recognized as one of the more difficult games to play or teach. One reason for this is that each person necessarily plays by feel, and a feel is almost impossible to describe.
      - Bobby Jones

Either a wise man will not go into bunkers, or, being in, he will endure such things as befall him with patience.
      - Andrew Lang

Don't drive at a fellow-creature, so long as there is a reasonable chance of hitting him.
      - William Edward Norris

The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.
      - Chi Chi Rodriguez

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf.
      - Bertrand Arthur William Russell

Welcome, grave stranger, to our green retreats,
  Where health with exercise and freedom meets.
      - Sir Walter Scott

So they
  Doubly redoubled strokes.
      - William Shakespeare

Strike, brave boys, and take your turns.
      - William Shakespeare

The harder match'd, the greater victory.
      - William Shakespeare

What subtle hole is this?
      - William Shakespeare

Your play needs no excuse.
      - William Shakespeare

Where will I get a little page,
  Where will I get a caddie?
      - Thistle of Scotland


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