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There are some people as obtuse in recognizing an argument as they are in appreciating wit. You couldn't drive it into their heads with a hammer.
Treason is like diamonds; there is nothing to be made by the small trader.
Virtue is a beautiful thing in woman when they don't go about with it like a child with a drum making all sorts of noise with it.
We are all slaves to the shining metal.
We love peace, as we abhor pusillanimity; but not peace at any price. There is a peace more destructive of the manhood of living man than war is destructive of his material body. Chains are worse than bayonets.
What a fine-looking thing is war!
Yet, dress it as we may, dress and feather it, daub it with gold, huzza it, and sing swaggering songs about it,--what is it, nine times out of ten, but murder in uniform!
What women would do if they could not cry, nobody knows. What poor, defenceless creatures they would be!
Wishes, at least, are the easy pleasures of the poor.
Wits, like drunken men with swords, are apt to draw their steel upon their best acquaintances.
Women, somehow, have the same fear of witty men as of fireworks.
That fellow would vulgarize the day of judgment.
- A Comic Author [Speech]
Earth is here so kind, that just tickle her with a hoe and she
laughs with a harvest.
- A Land of Plenty [Agriculture]
Talk to him of Jacob's ladder, and he would ask the number of the steps.
- A Matter-of-Fact Man [Talk]
After all there is something about a wedding-gown prettier than in any other gown in the world.
- A Wedding-Gown--Jerrold's Wit [Apparel]
He is one of those wise philanthropists who, in a time of famine, would vote for nothing but a supply of toothpicks.
- Douglas Jerrold's Wit [Philanthropy : Voting]
The surest way to hit a woman's heart is to take aim kneeling.
- Douglas Jerrold's Wit--The Way to a Woman's Heart
He was so good he would pour rose-water on a toad.
- Jerrold's Wit--A Charitable Man [Goodness]
Love's like the flies, and, drawing-room or garret, goes all over a house.
- Jerrold's Wit--Love [Love]
Some people are so fond of ill-luck that they run half-way to meet it.
- Jerrold's Wit--Meeting Trouble Half-Way
We have peace as we abhor pusillanimity; but not peace at any price. There is a peace more destructive of the manhood of living man than war is destructive of his material body. Chains are worse than bayonets.
- Jerrold's Wit--Peace [Peace]
As for the brandy, "nothing extenuate"; and the water, put nought in in malice.
- Jerrold's Wit--Shakespeare Grog [Liquor]
Love the sea? I dote upon it--from the beach.
- Jerrold's Wit--The Anglo-French Alliance
In all the wedding cake, hope is the sweetest of the plums.
- Jerrold's Wit--The Catspaw [Hope]
The life of the husbandman,--a life led by the bounty of earth and sweetened by the airs of heaven.
- Jerrold's Wit--The Husbandman's Life
The ugliest of trades have their moments of pleasure. Now, if I were a grave-digger, or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.
- Jerrold's Wit--Ugly Trades [Occupations]
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