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DOUGLAS WILLIAM JERROLD
English humorist, journalist and writer
(1803 - 1857)
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A conservative is a man who will not look at the new moon, out of respect for that "ancient institution," the old one.
      - [Conservatism]

A coquette is like a recruiting sergeant, always on the lookout for fresh victims.
      - [Coquetry]

A creature undefiled by the taint of the world, unvexed by its injustice, unwearied by its hollow pleasures; a being fresh from the source of light, with something of its universal lustre in it. If childhood be this, how holy the duty to see that in its onward growth it shall be no other!
      - [Childhood : Children]

A man is in no danger so long as he talks his love; but to write it is to impale himself on his own pothooks.
      - [Courtship]

A man never so beautifully shows his own strength as when he respects a woman's softness.
      - [Gentleness]

A man, so to speak, who is not able to bow to his own conscience every morning is hardly in a condition to respectfully salute the world at any other time of the day.
      - [Conscience]

A paroxysm of nervous effervescence.
      - [Fuss]

A stray volume of real life in the daily packet of the postman. Eternal love and instant payment.
      - [Letters]

Blessed be the hand that prepares a pleasure for a child, for there is no saying when and where it may bloom forth.
      - [Children]

Dogmatism is puppyism come to its full growth.
      - [Dogmatism]

Duty, though set about by thorns, may still be made a staff supporting even while it tortures. Cast it away, and, like the prophet's wand, it changes to a snake.
      - [Duty]

Etiquette has no regard for moral qualities.
      - [Etiquette]

Fix yourself upon the wealthy. In a word, take this for a golden rule through life: Never, never have a friend that is poorer than yourself.
      - [Friendship]

Fortunes made in no time are like shirts made in no time; it's ten to one if they hang long together.
      - [Fortune]

God said, "Let us make man in our image." Man said, "Let us make God in our image."
      - [God]

Gravity is more suggestive than convincing.
      - [Gravity]

Grumblers deserve to be operated upon surgically; their trouble is usually chronic.
      - [Grumbling]

Habitual intoxication is the epitome of every crime.
      - [Drunkenness]

Happiness grows at our own firesides, and is not to be picked in strangers' gardens.
      - [Happiness]

He kissed her and promised. Such beautiful lips! Man's usual fate,--he was lost upon the coral reefs.
      - [Kisses]

He was so benevolent, so merciful a man that, in his mistaken passion, he would have held an umbrella over a duck in a shower of rain.
      - [Kindness]

Humor is the harmony of the heart.
      - [Humor]

I never hear the rattling of dice that it does not sound to me like the funeral bell of the whole family.
      - [Gambling]

If you tickle the earth with a hoe she laughs with a harvest.
      - [Farming]

Intemperance is the epitome of every crime, the cause of every kind of misery.
      - [Intemperance]


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Last Revised: 2018 December 10




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