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FOOTBALL
[ Also see Losing Sport Winning ]

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
      - Erma Bombeck

In football the object is to march into enemy territory and cross his goal. In baseball the object is to go home.
      - George Carlin

A tie is like kissing your sister.
      - Duffy Daugherty

A man is always better than he thinks.
      - Woody Hayes

Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football.
      - John Heisman

A game that requires the constant conjuring of animosity.
      - Vince Lombardi,
        in the "New York Times", December 12, 1967

A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall.
      - Vince Lombardi

Some people try to find things in this game that don't exist but football is only two things--blocking and tackling.
      - Vince Lombardi

Football is to baseball as blackjack is to bridge.
      - Vin Scully

If football players were armed with guns, there wouldn't be stadiums large enough to hold the crowds.
      - Irwin Shaw

Football is a mistake. It combines the two worst elements of American life. Violence and committee meetings.
      - George Will


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