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LAW OF LIFE AND NATURE
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Annoyance, Law of: When working on a project, if you put away a tool that you're certain you're finished with, you will need it instantly.
      - [Laws of Life and Nature]

Anthony's Law of Force: Don't force it; get a larger hammer.
      - [Laws of Life and Nature]

Anthony's Law of the Workshop, Corollary to: On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first strike your toes.
      - [Laws of Life and Nature]

Anthony's Law of the Workshop: Any tool when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner of the workshop.
      - [Laws of Life and Nature]

Any small object that is accidentally dropped will hide under a larger object.
      - [Laws of Life and Nature]

Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable.
      - [Laws of Life and Nature]

Any time things appear to be going better, you have overlooked something.
      - [Laws of Life and Nature]

Anything labeled "NEW" and/or "IMPROVED" isn't. The label means the price went up. The label "ALL NEW", "COMPLETELY NEW", or "GREAT NEW" means the price went way up.
      - [Laws of Life and Nature]

Applied Confusion, Fourth Law of, First Corollary: In any group of pieces with the same erection mark on it, one should not have that mark on it.
      - [Laws of Life and Nature]

Applied Confusion, Fourth Law of, Second Corollary: It will not be discovered until you try to put it where the mark says it's supposed to go.
      - [Laws of Life and Nature]

Applied Confusion, Fourth Law of, Third Corollary: Never argue with the fabricating plant about an error. The inspection prints are all checked off, even to the holes that aren't there.
      - [Laws of Life and Nature]

Applied Confusion, Fourth Law of: In any structure, pick out the one piece that should not be mismarked and expect the plant to cross you up.
      - [Laws of Life and Nature]

Applied Confusion, Law of, Corollary: Not only did the plant forget to ship it, 50% of the time they haven't even made it.
      - [Laws of Life and Nature]

Applied Confusion, Law of: The one piece that the plant forgot to ship is the one that supports 75% of the balance of the shipment.
      - [Laws of Life and Nature]

Applied Confusion, Second Law of: Truck deliveries that normally take one day will take five when you are waiting for the truck.
      - [Laws of Life and Nature]

Applied Confusion, Third Law of: After adding two weeks to the schedule for unexpected delays, add two more for the unexpected, unexpected delays.
      - [Laws of Life and Nature]

Applied Terror, Corollary to the Fifth Law of: If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live.
      - [Laws of Life and Nature]

Applied Terror, Corollary to the Fourth Law of: The night before the English History mid-term, your biology instructor will assign 200 pages on planaria.
      - [Laws of Life and Nature]

Applied Terror, Fifth Law of: If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.
      - [Laws of Life and Nature]

Applied Terror, Fourth Law of: Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except study for that instructor's course.
      - [Laws of Life and Nature]

Approval Seeker's Law: Those whose approval you seek the most give you the least.
      - [Laws of Life and Nature]

Aquinas Axiom, The: What the gods get away with, the cows don't.
      - [Laws of Life and Nature]

Army Axiom: Any order that can be misunderstood will be misunderstood.
      - [Laws of Life and Nature]

Army Law: If it moves, salute it; if it doesn't move, pick it up; if you can't pick it up, paint it.
      - [Laws of Life and Nature]

Arnold's First Law of Documentation: If it should exist, it doesn't.
      - [Laws of Life and Nature]


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